Saturday, October 24, 2009

The Experiment: Not an auspicious begining

I was debating whether to even write this post because what happened to me last night was a bit strange, and it didn't produce a lot of useful data.  I figure that all of you reading this blog will appreciate my honesty even though I'm going to leave some details out mainly for brevity but also for less embarrassment on my part.

Last night there was a get together for one of the guys at my office.  It was his last day here, and he's an all around good and well liked guy.  This going away party was at a bar.  It's really half a bar and half a restaurant.  It's located in an exurb that I hate (and I hate exurbs in general).  (In case you're wondering, I like suburbs just fine.  Exurbs are a different story.)  This particular exurb is filled with money (to a point), and it's a place where for the most part people go right before or after they get married in preparation for having 2.08 kids, particularly if they're drones leading the standard upper middle class/lower upper class drone life.  Needless to say, all of this money can't buy intelligence or common sense.  Plenty of divorce happens in this exurb so on the bar side of this place the clientèle is made up of plenty of divorced women and men.  Most of the divorced women fall into the category of trying to snag a man before they completely lose their looks (and everything else).

I was at the party for the guy that was leaving.  I went back to the bar a couple of times to get refills on what I was drinking, and in the midst of this I managed to pick up a woman at the bar accidentally.  (She wasn't a coworker.)  I'm going to call her Amanda in this post (not her real name).  I'm going to skip some details here for brevity, just to say that I knew even at that point something was wrong.  I wasn't sure what exactly, but it was kind of like the sudden ominous music playing nationwide from this video from The Onion:

Since I'm collecting data for this experiment, I decided to go on even with the ominous music in the background.

As everything went on, it felt way too easy.  I should point out here that I have never had this type of experience before.  I couldn't tell if it was just because I was in the successful with women category and ignored it before or if there was something sinister going on, or both or some other reason.  (Amanda wasn't drunk if you're wondering about that.)  There was also the possibility that because she was simply desperate or trying very poorly to play cougar (even though I believe I'm too old to be cougar bait at 31).  (I think Amanda was 40 or in her late 30's.)  Throughout all of this I'm thinking why me instead of anyone else?  There are plenty of possible answers such as Amanda is trying to relive being 30 years old (why?), but the Onion style ominous music is in the background.

One thing leads to another, and it seemed like I had the opportunity to nail Amanda.  I decided to pass.  The ominous music was getting louder.  I went to the parking lot to go to my car, but Amanda followed me.  She then proceeded to use all manner of shaming language on me for not going home with her, small dick, was I gay, etc.  You know the drill.  Fortunately, there was no one around to hear this.  In Amanda's voluminous verbal diarrhea, she said blurted out something about having a STD.  I don't know if Amanda was saying that she didn't have one or that she let it slip that she did.  Having an STD would explain the metaphorical ominous music.  Either way, I wasn't going to take a chance.  Even if Amanda didn't have a STD, she probably had so many dicks inside her in her life that I was better off.  If nothing else, my zucchini would have gotten lost in there.

Eventually this ended, and I made sure to not use a direct route to my car just in case Amanda was watching.  I know some of this story might not make sense, but I really don't want to go into most of the details I left out.

What did I learn from this?  Not very much.  This wasn't planned on my part of course.  I was planning on going to a going away party for one of my coworkers and that was it.  Besides all of the obvious problems with picking up a STD ridden chick, this place would not be a place I would go to pick up women.  All I can say for certain is that I'm not completely repulsive to women, and I'm probably better off than that.  More data and more testing is needed.

However, it does bring up some interesting side ideas.  Game is not a suicide pact (and neither is this experiment).  I'm sure there are a lot of PUAs who are laughing at me right now and making fun of me for not getting laid even with the high probability of this woman having a STD.  I don't care.  I used my brain and made the right choice, the smart choice.  If she had an STD it was probably one of the non-deadly ones, but many of those are very painful.  I'm better off with my health.

The experiment will continue as opportunities present themselves or as I can create them.  Next time, I'm hoping it involves women closer to my own age.

13 comments:

Talleyrand said...

Humans are the only animal that ignores the instinct of fear.

You shouldn't let fear rule you, but you shouldn't ignore it either.

As for the cougar thing, if she is 5+ years older than you, you are cougar bait.

Pro-Male/Anti-Feminist Tech said...

As for the cougar thing, if she is 5+ years older than you, you are cougar bait.

Well, that explains that.

I have quite understood how the cougar thing is supposed to work on the cougar's part. Since I was in a more powerful position than Amanda was, why is she screwing around going after guys younger than her? (Assuming that she wasn't really STD ridden and desperate for a lay because of it.)

You shouldn't let fear rule you, but you shouldn't ignore it either.

It's not about fear ruling me. I sensed something was wrong. I couldn't figure it out, but I knew something was there. I don't have an STD detector by any means, but something was not adding up.

If I was really letting fear rule me, I wouldn't be continuing this experiment. The bar I was at is not a place I would care to mine for women given the nature of it.

The ominous music comments was to add some levity to an otherwise dreary post.

jm_kaye said...

It's best not to ignore a creepy vibe. Ever.

What's really embarrassing about this is, I almost commented on your other post that you should consider an older woman for the first time. But never mind.

Hestia said...

I must echo the sentiments to never ignore your fear. If something doesn't feel right, it isn't and it's better to look like a fool or jerk than to be taken advantage of.

When I met the woman who eventually went on to make the false child abuse accusation against me last fall, every siren in my head was going off, but I brushed these feelings aside, horrified that I would be evil enough to think such bad thoughts about another human being. I continued to ignore the nagging feeling until a few days before she made the call on me and by that point I knew something was going to happen, but knew it was too late. Sure enough, there was a knock on my door and it was the police. Enough said.

This gross mistake on my part cost me dearly, including over $10k for legal help and moving across the country at a moment's notice, along with great emotional impact. You are a good guy and I would hate for you to make the same mistake I did.

There is a book called "That Bitch" that a LEO friend gave to me after my ordeal, that I would highly recommend you check out sometime. This book examples in detail the warning signs to look out for when it comes to sociopaths, psychopaths, NPD, and other mental illnesses. These sick freaks look for nice people to harm and prey on niceness, as most people react how I did, blaming themselves for thinking ill of another person.

/thread hijack

jm_kaye said...

Another good book on the subject is "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin deBecker.

Novaseeker said...

I think the cougar thing was probably a factor, too. 40 and 31 is cougarish, really.

Looks like you dodged a bullet with this one.

Anonymous said...

I write - "Don't Try, stay single, Be happy."
Remember, You must have sex somepoint in your expiriment.
Ask yourself, what do you want from experiment?
1)Talk with woman - your can plenty of talks with collegues.
2)Sex - remember about STD, pregancy, palimony, incoming co-habitation law. More, if you are alpha-male, woman will start annoy with SMS, telephone rings and even stalking you, do you need it?
Do you want that woman will fall in love to you? You will reject you after expirement, and she can turn your life in hell, if she claim that you rape her.
What will you if woman approach you? If you are alpha-male, I have plenty situations when woman tryed to start relationship with you by her initiative. Woman do it much often than you think.
For you, it's experiment, for woman it's not, woman want sex much more than you.
"Female is most dangerous toy" - F.Nietze.
Stop experiment before it become disaster.

Pro-Male/Anti-Feminist Tech said...

@jm_kaye

Just because it didn't work out here, does that mean that going after an older woman at all is a bad idea? Is this just a matter of wait for the STD tests before doing anything (which is a good idea regardless of age)?

@Hestia

I don't know if she was really preying on niceness vs. just wanting to get laid (which doesn't require preying on niceness). And then she got mad because I had the audacity to disagree with her.

@Nova

I really did dodge a bullet.

jm_kaye said...

I just meant I wouldn't blame you if this experience turned you off older women completely. I still think it's a good idea. As far as STD's are concerned, as long as you use a condom you should be okay, but having your prospective partner get tested first is better.

To over-simplify a little, you could divide availlable women into two categories: the Relationship Seekers and the Fun Seekers. Both groups have their pros and cons.

The Relationship Seekers are probably going to be a bigger pool, and it's also where you're more likely to meet younger, prettier women. The drawbacks are that you could get sucked into a lot of drama if you're not ready for a relationship and are not completely honest with them from the start. This is also the group where you're most likely to run into gold-diggers.

The Fun Seekers are usually the older women, so you may have to lower your standards as far as looks are concerned. The main disadvantage is that this pool is smaller, which also limits your choices. But with this group you might be able to use your lack of experience to your advantage, since a lot of them probably fantasize about seducing a male virgin.

All this is based on hunches. Take it with a grain of salt.

Pro-Male/Anti-Feminist Tech said...

not completely honest with them from the start

Not completely honest with them about what?

But with this group you might be able to use your lack of experience to your advantage, since a lot of them probably fantasize about seducing a male virgin.

I really don't want to tell them that I'm a virgin. I have also determined that I don't communicate this fact in any other way so how would they know?

jm_kaye said...

Not completely honest that you aren't looking for a relationship, which is what I inferred from your previous posts. If in fact you are looking for a relationship, then I misunderstood.

I can see now that telling them you're a virgin would be defeating the purpose of this experiment, which is to see if you are naturally successful with women, correct? They probably won't be able to tell that you're a virgin, but once you get down actually having sex it may be apparent that you're somewhat inexperienced, unless you're a good actor or the woman is very inexperienced herself. Some women may be turned on by this, others may be turned off. Speaking in *very* broad generalities, the older women are less likely to be turned off.

Good luck.

Pro-Male/Anti-Feminist Tech said...

If in fact you are looking for a relationship, then I misunderstood.

I'm not looking for a relationship, but I do want to run a comprehensive set of tests which would mean going after some "relationship seekers". Otherwise its all older women and it doesn't really tell me everything that I want to know.

telling them you're a virgin would be defeating the purpose of this experiment, which is to see if you are naturally successful with women, correct?

That's right.

They probably won't be able to tell that you're a virgin, but once you get down actually having sex it may be apparent that you're somewhat inexperienced, unless you're a good actor or the woman is very inexperienced herself.

I see what you're saying. I have no idea what will happen when things progress to that point.

Anonymous said...

Pmaft, compared to you women are oh so pathetic. Women know this, but hate when a SUPERIOR man like you rejects them. She was angry at you for the rejection but angrier at herself for being so damned pathetic. She was so wet making her angrier.

Pmaft, this is a problem you will have to deal with. Many women are that far beneath you.

DJ

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